I'll never forget when I was picking out the invitations for our wedding and we saw a baby shower invitation for a little boy and it had my new name on there, "Kate Brown." My mom and I were so excited saying that was going to be the next invitation we will be working on! Who knew over 6 years later we would finally get to send those out. And it would be for TWO boys!!
Inferiltity comes with so many waves of emotion. And I think baby showers are one of those topics we don't talk about very often. The first probably 2 years of our journey, I was fine going to baby showers. I actually loved going and getting to see all the future things I could be getting. But when the 3rd year hit, those showers started to get a lot harder. I hated feeling like the "barren" women in the room that everyone knew about. And I didn't want to steal the joy that mother was feeling. Each invitation I would get, I would literally have an internal battle on if I was strong enough to go or not. But something I always appreciated was that I was always invited. I'm sure like many other girls, I never wanted to be excluded because of the situation we were in. Even if I wasn't able to go I wanted to either celebrate you privately or send you a gift! So thank you to all the girls who still included me 🙂
Looking back on those days, I wasn't sure if I would ever get to experience this moment that we are in today. And it makes me want to cry just thinking about it! Last week we started sending out my shower invitations and I keep getting all these texts from my friends saying they can't believe they just got my invitation and how surreal it all is. To be honest, I can't believe it either. God, you are such a good, good father and I am so incredibly thankful to be here.
I just can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is going. Like how or when did I get to be 23 weeks?! We are officially 5 days from "viability" and I can't wait to reach that milestone. Each week we surpass is a huge celebration and we feel so incredibly thankful to be at this part of our journey. As I'm sure with most pregnant momma's after infertility or loss it's really hard to not worry. It's so hard to not stress that something could happen. But I can't live my life or even pregnancy like that. I have to embrace each moment and truly enjoy it because these babies will be here before we know it and I don't want to miss a thing about it. I even want to celebrate all the aches and pains because we prayed SO hard to be here and experience this! Gannon and I just laugh each time I grunt trying to get up from the couch or have to roll out of the bed!
So to my precious friends who might be in similar circumstances that I was in not that long ago. I am praying for you and believing your time will here before you know it. And I can't wait to celebrate you and your future miracles! Cling to God and realize he is working on your story right now and it will be even more beautiful than you can imagine.
On my time hop today it showed me that 2 years ago today we tried ovulation induction. That was my first "real" infertility treatment after I had my surgery and got out of menopause. Gosh, seeing those pictures it felt like a lifetime ago. But it's bittersweet to think that one that day 2 years ago, God knew that today we would be celebrating by sending out our baby shower invitations. As hard as it is to not know where your journey might lead, it's reassuring to know our Father already has it all mapped out. So precious friends, I hope you can find rest in that.
And with tears in my eyes and joy in my heart. Here is the invitation I wasn't sure I would ever get to see. To some it might be a simple piece of paper, but to me it's a story of hope and goodness. God is so good and I'm so thankful for his love.
Thank you Lord for this day and allowing us to be here!!!
Momma Brown 🙂