ONE WEEK!!!! 7 more sleeps until I am PREGNANT!!! I feel like I could cry I’m so excited to finally be here again. It feels like it has taken forever to get here, which lets be honest it basically has! I feel like it’s all I can think about it, but it’s so hard to not let it consume you when you’ve been waiting for 3 years. Especially when things are constantly happening to your body.
I’ve heard people say that when you have a baby it’s like having half of your heart outside your body. But I feel like that’s very similar to the IVF process. September 21st will always be a special day in our hearts because it’s the day these precious miracles were conceived, outside my BODY! And before they were conceived we were able to watch each tiny follicle grow and mature. Then at the egg retrieval, you find out how many eggs they get and you have so much hope for each one. And the following day, the embryologist calls you and tells you how many of those eggs fertilized and that’s the moment it really hits you, you have babies developing outside your body. Then you have to wait for 5 whole days to see if any of those babies developed like they needed to in order to freeze. And you basically have a panic attack until they call you and say they froze successfully. And you can breathe, but only for a little bit because then you have to gear up for your transfer. And you go to appointment, after appointment to make sure your body is responding like it needs too. And you finally get to the transfer and your anxious to get to the lab to hear if your babies thawed out alright. And once you find out you can breathe again, but only for a short period of time because then you’re on your 2ww. And you analysis and stress over every tiny symptom that is happening in your body. Guys, IVF is SO HARD! It’s hard because we know so much so early on. But we also are so blessed because through this process we are able to form a bond like no other with these little miracles babies.
Just even typing that out is overwhelming. I can’t believe we did that twice. Anyone going through fertility treatments, you guys are SO strong. Seriously, you guys need to be acknowledged. Infertility is hard on yourself, your marriage, on everything. It really takes a toll. I’m not joking about my gray hairs like I said in my last post. But we have something special we get to tell our children. And that is that we fought for them. We fought so hard, and I’m sure for most there were times that you wanted to give up. But you didn’t and you will get to tell your children how hard you fought! So don’t give up! (I’m having to tell myself this too!!)
I’ve waited 1,170 days to get to today and now we are only 7 days away from our second FET. Which honestly those 7 days seem longer than the 1,170 before it. The God that parted the Red Sea, the God that fed 5 thousand, the God who raised Lazarus from the dead is working on our story. And I don’t know about you, but that is pretty amazing. So today, I find comfort in knowing that God is in control of our story. It might not always go the way I want, but I trust that his outcome is always better than my own. And I know that he put the desire in my heart to be a mother for a reason and I will keep believing that this will be our time!
Today, we had our last ultrasound before the transfer. Dr B doesn’t do the transfer so I won’t see them again until I go in for our pregnancy test. Which is so crazy to think about! MK said my uterus was so thick that it’s a mattress, on a box spring, with a fluffy pillow top! Which made me super excited because that sounds pretty cozy for our two babies to get snuggled into for the next 9 months!
Two thumbs up for a fluffy uterus lining!! 🙂
They are talking to the lab today to decide which embryos we are going to transfer. Since we have 4 frozen this time, we will only thaw out 2. We have 2 that are frozen together and then 2 that are frozen individually. But the ones frozen individually are developing better than the ones frozen together so we think we will use the individual ones. Even having to make those decisions are overwhelming! I’m like you guys decide that, I can’t!
We signed all the paperwork for the lab and got the prices for the transfer. Why does it have to cost so much to have a family?!
We decided to use the same doctor who did our transfer last time. We really liked him! We finally got the time for my transfer so it’s scheduled for 1 pm! Ekk, this time in 1 week I will be pregnant!! It’s so surreal! We are praying we are the only transfer that day because it was so much fun getting the place to ourselves.
This time they offered if I wanted to take a Valium before my transfer but I opted out. I’ve never taken one before and MK said it could either make me super emotional (which Lord knows I won’t need that) or it would make me hyper. So I decided I’m going to not take one. Let’s hope I don’t regret that decision the day of 🙂
Friends, can you please join us in prayer?! Pray that God would prepare my body for our little miracles. That God would let our two babies thaw out properly. That we would have safe travels to OKC to and from the transfer. Pray for our sweet babies that God would prepare them for this incredible little journey! And pray for peace!!
A sweet friend of mine sent me this song yesterday and I’ve basically been listening to it on repeat! So I wanted to share it with you!
We love you guys!
Momma Brown 🙂