A U G U S T

I can’t believe it’s already AUGUST! For some reason, August has always been a big month for us on our journey to Baby Brown’s. Our first August in 2014, I had surgery to repair the septum in my uterus and we found out I had stage 4 endometriosis. Last August 2015, we were in the middle of Ovulation Induction which is similar to an IUI. And this August we will be starting our second round of IVF.

I am ready to get this second round started, but I’m also super nervous. This time around I actually know what to expect. I know how much the hormones affect my body, how badly the shots hurt, and how emotionally draining the process can be. And I’m scared because I feel like there is so much more pressure this time around round. Because I know that this is it for a little bit. Emotionally, physically and financially we will need time to heal if our second round doesn’t work. But with this added pressure, comes even more trust. Trust in knowing that no matter how badly the shots may hurt, how scared I might be, that God is in control. And I just have to take this journey one day at a time and I can rest knowing that God knows our future and the desires of our hearts.

At church, a couple Sunday’s ago our preacher read Hebrews 11:1 and it says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”

So I will believe that this second round will work. That God will allow my body to do exactly what it needs to and He will bless us with the perfect number of embryos. I have faith that THIS will be our time. And that I will carry those precious miracles to term.

I’m also believing that God will still open up the right doors for adoption. Gannon and I have been more confused than ever! A few weeks ago I sat down and went over all the agencies. I found one that was Christian based and also specialized in infant adoption. On the website, you can actually find couples in waiting and read their letters to the future birth moms. I literally sat there crying for hours reading these incredible letters. Gannon and I agreed we wanted to call and talk to someone on the phone and ask them a few questions and get more information.  So we called not once, not twice, but three times and left messages with their adoption counselor. And didn’t hear anything back. I started to feel defeated when they finally send us an email. The email basically states all the requirements, which seem pretty normal. But also states the price, which is around $22,500. But can vary based  on medical or living expenses of the birth mother. Reading over that email was just devastating. And it started making me question if we need to explore different options.

Only a couple who has gone through infertility or adoption will get this…But can a couple just get a free baby, please?! Ok, I’m joking! But Lord, I’m totally ok with you blessing our family with as many free babies as you would like in the future!

So with all that said, Gannon and I have some big decisions to make. We are realizing this whole adoption process is a HUGE learning curve. We have so much to learn and we are just in the beginning stages. I want to make the best decision for our future family and it’s scary to know what that decision is! I think right now I’m realizing that I still need to do A LOT of research. If we are going to be spending that kind of money on an agency I want to explore all our options. Not just in Oklahoma, but potentially sistering states as well. And I want to look directly into adoption lawyers. So if  you all have any advice or recommendations please share!

For now, Gannon and I would love for you guys to join us in prayer for some direction with these decisions. It’s overwhelming, but I know it will be so worth it once we are holding our precious babies! Please pray that God would open up the right doors for us in our adoption journey and prepare our hearts for our upcoming round of IVF.

Also, girls! I haven’t forgotten about our fun get together! So please stay tuned for some upcoming details on it all! I can’t wait to finally get us all in the same room and be able to love and support each other!

Hope you all have a blessed week!


Momma Brown 🙂

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