Some exciting things have been happening in the Brown household these past few weeks.
First of all, our house is slowly starting to come together. Our cabinets in our kitchen, laundry room, and master bath are getting installed this weekend. After that, we can get our wood floors sanded and stained! And finally, start moving stuff back into the house! It has been a lot of fun to live with my parents, but I’m ready to get back into our home and have my normal routine back!
This past week I finally started my birth control. I have to take it for the next 2-3 months to help regulate everything and get my ovaries in sync for our second round of IVF. God knew that our house renovation would be the perfect distraction to keep me from obsessing over our next steps. It has honestly been nice to not think about medicine, shots, ultrasounds and all the fun stuff that comes along with infertility!
This weekend, Gannon and I are going to be celebrating our 5 YEAR anniversary, which is totally insane! We got a room at the Mayo Hotel (which is where we got married) so I’m excited to stay there and get a night away from everything! Our actual anniversary this year falls on the same night we are celebrating my 10 YEAR high school reunion. I mean when did we get so old?! So that is why we are celebrating early!
I still feel like I did in this moment 5 years later! I’m the luckiest girl in the world being Gannon’s wife!
I just can’t get over how young we look in these pictures!
I mean Gannon was a child when we got married 🙂
On Mother’s Day, our church had a sermon over fostering and adopting. For the past 3 years, Mother’s day has had a different meaning for me. When you are so desperately wanting to have a family, it’s a day that can make you feel empty and honesty left out. Our church always has the baby dedication and I love seeing all the proud families stand up there and let our church pray over them, but it’s also so hard to watch and realize another year has gone by and we aren’t up there. At one point, Gannon grabbed me during the worship music and I literally had the biggest tears falling out of my eyes. I’ve always hated being the emotional women in the room, especially at church but this year I realized it’s ok to be vulnerable and emotional. If anyone did happen to see me (literally crying my face off) my hope is that if anything they would pray for us. I know I do every time I see someone crying at church…or anywhere for that matter. You never know what someone could be going through.
This year was also very special for my family because we got to dedicate sweet Lorenzo! It was such a special day for all of us. He will always be our little blessing when we needed it the most! He has made some of the hardest days for me so full of joy and he doesn’t even know it yet! I feel so lucky to be his Auntie Koko!
So back to my main point…adoption 🙂 Our church had a sermon over fostering and adopting and then following the sermon they had an event so people could get more information about it all. It was a total God thing that the event happened when it did. I’m sure most of you already know, but Gannon and I have always had the desire to adopt. We just weren’t sure of the timing. So going into the event we had a lot of questions we wanted answered. One of the things we heard is that some organizations won’t let you do fertility treatments and pursue adoption at the same time. With fertility being so uncertain, I really struggled with having to choose which one we should do first. I felt like for me to have a better chance at carrying a child I needed to do IVF first. To explore at least one more time if my body is even capable of that. We had also heard that some adoption organizations cost anywhere from $30,000 on up. It makes me sad to think that we even have to consider money when we think about expanding our family, but unfortunately, that is just part of our story for whatever reason. So finically speaking there would just be no way we could do IVF and adoption at the same time if it cost that much.
Well, the director of DHS was at this meeting and we got to talk to her and ask her these specific questions and a few other ones we had! Initially, I kind of wrote DHS off as my first choice of adoption. I felt like I wanted to find a Christian adoption organization. But I should have known God’s plan would be different! We found out that if you adopt through DHS it’s FREE! I think only couples who have gone through a failed fertility treatment could appreciate the words of being able to potentially start a family for free! When we heard that we were totally overwhelmed with a sense of peace! We also found out that DHS allows you to do fertility treatments while you are in the adoption process. Which was so comforting to both of us. Because you never know how long adoption or even IVF can take! After that meeting we felt like any hurdle we had in our hearts about why we shouldn’t pursue adoption and IVF at the same time were lifted.
I understand how it might sound strange to want to do both at the same time. But all Gannon and I want is to have a big family. To fill those empty bedrooms upstairs and experience the joy of parenthood. If God decides to bless our family with potentially more than 1 child at once we are more than okay with that!
So what does all this mean?! Gosh, if I had the answer that would be so much easier! I think all we can ask for right now is just prayer. We are going to be starting the paperwork for adoption soon. Which we know is going to be A HUGE process! But the amount of peace I have even while I’m typing all this out is so exciting. Which is so crazy because I have no idea what our future holds and I’m usually such a planner! I’m just excited to see what doors God opens for us. I know this had been part of His plan all along and I find so much comfort in that.
I know this is a lot. And I’m sure you all are just as overwhelmed as we are! So now all we can do now is pray and prepare! If you guys can be praying that we wouldn’t have any complications when we start to fill out the paperwork. And that God would put us in contact with the perfect person to guide us through this adoption journey. For God to start to prepare our hearts and most importantly to prepare the heart of our future birth mother. And finally, pray for patience because we know this is not going to be an easy journey.
Thank you all for following our journey! I hope you all are as excited as we are about these next steps! I know God has a plan and I will find rest knowing he is in control!
Ephesians 1:4-5 says, “He chose us before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us or adoption as sons through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of His will.”
I heard this song the other day and thought it was so beautiful so I had to share!
Hope you all have a blessed weekend!
Momma Brown 🙂