Today was our first little family outing as a family of 4! And it was my first day off of bed rest! Phew, I’m glad that is over 🙂 It’s so hard for me to rest, but if it helps the chances of our babies surviving I will do it or anything for that matter! Our first outing was to Church and it was so exciting to hear all our friends come up and call me momma! This morning I told Gannon he looked handsome today and he said, “Duh I’m a daddy now!” I love hearing him call himself that!
I can’t even explain how full my heart is knowing I have 2 precious lives inside of me right now. All I want to do is protect them and make sure they are given a fair chance at life! Lord, please let these miracles be in our arms in the next 9 months! The first time I saw the pictures of the two of them was so surreal. I feel like I was having such a proud momma moment when the embryologoist was going over all the details. When Dr K was doing the transfer he said, “Boy you sure have some pretty embryos” and I said, “I think they are pretty cute!” It’s so exciting to look at something the size of a dot from pen and realize that it’s a life! It has just as much as potential as anyone else to be something! And in that tiny little spec you can find out the whether it’s a little boy or girl and God already know’s the color of it’s eyes, the color of it’s hair, he knows every single little detail! I can’t look at that and not believe in God! Each life is such an incredible miracle! My mom and I joke that the embryo on top is a little boy because it’s a little bit smaller and slower to grow and the bottom one is a little girl because it’s a little bigger and more developed! I can’t wait to find out if we are right!
For the past couple days, I’ve had little tingles/cramps. I’m so prayerful that means they are implanting! I so wish I could know exactly what was happening inside my body right now, but if I did I wouldn’t have to trust in a good God that can make anything possible. And I’m just trusting that God knows the desires of my heart. He will answer it at the perfect time. All I can do right now is pray and trust.
Lord, I come to you and beg you to please let this work. Please let this be THE time. Please let this be OUR time. Gannon and I are scared, but we trust in you. We know you are a good God. God thank you for allowing us to depend on you. Thank you for allowing us to go through this storm while you hold our hand. Thank you for teaching us to be more like you. Thank you for allowing these two perfect little lives no matter how small they might be, experience what the love of a mother and father is like. God, we ask you to guide these two babies into the perfect, coziest little spot in my uterus and please let them have a fighting chance. Lord, we trusted you with the perfect number of embryo’s and we know you gave us two for a reason. Thank you for loving us enough to be where we are today. It’s in your precious name. Amen.
Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.”