Lord be my Captain

Calling all prayer warriors. This morning I got the update on our little miracle babies and at Day 5 they should be Blastocysts. None of mine have made it to that stage yet. I have 4 that are in the Morula stage, which is right before the blastocysts. I also have 1 that has 12 cells and 4 that have 8 cells.  But a few of the 8 cell embryo’s haven’t progressed in a couple days. I don’t know if it’s because today was suppose to be the day we were scheduled to transfer those little miracles. And it should have been the day I got pregnant. Or if it’s just this dreary weather, but I am feeling really discouraged. I can feel satan trying to creep into my mind saying this could have been all for nothing. So instead of letting him get any part of me can you all please and join me in prayer for those little miracles. I have said from the beginning that I know God is going to give us the perfect number to freeze and that his will be done. But can we specifically be praying that those 4 continue to fight and can make it to the next stage so we are able to freeze them?  I have SO much hope for those little ones and I know that anything is possible through God. Nothing is ever too big or small to ask him. So Lord, I beg you for a miracle.

I have to keep reminding myself of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

The fertility institute called Dr B this morning and he said they might wait until Day 7 to freeze them to see if we have any more numbers by then. I text my nurse this morning and I’m still waiting to hear back about what she thinks. I just need some encouraging words that it can all still work out. It’s hard to comprehend the attachment I have to those little miracle embryos and even the thought of losing any at this point breaks my heart. I never anticipated how difficult the emotional rollercoaster of this process would be. But it’s teaching me to be vulnerable and helping me realize I don’t always have to be strong. I can’t do this alone, I need God to direct my paths.

Psalm 143:8 says, ” Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,  for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”

I heard this song the other day and it literally could not be any more perfect for how i’m feeling today. The lyrics go like this.

Through waters uncharted my soul will embark
I’ll follow Your voice straight into the dark
And if from the course You intend
I depart
Speak to the sails of my wandering heart

Like the wind
You’ll guide
Clear the skies before me
And I’ll glide this open sea

Like the stars
Your Word
Will align my voyage
And remind me where I’ve been
And where I am going

Lost in the shallows amidst fear and fog
Your truth is the compass that points me back north
My Captain
My soul’s trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours



2 thoughts on “Lord be my Captain

  1. There is still hope! I only had 1 make it to day 5 out of 13. And one they said didn’t think it would make it to freeze and day 6 it made it! Hang in there… I am sure a few of those will make it 😉

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