Sorry, it’s been a while since I last posted! We’ve been extra busy lately! I think God knew that I needed to keep busy and focus on him in able to get through this whole process. Today, I was supposed to go in for my Post Op and the office called to have it moved to Tuesday. They said that Dr. B had to go to OKC which most likely means he is doing invitro! I was a little disappointed but someday he might have to cancel on someone else for us so I completely understand. I am just anxious to sit face to face with him and get started on the next step! The anticipation up to the surgery was insane, and now that it’s over it almost feels like it didn’t even happen! I’m just trying to keep my eyes on the goal…which is a healthy little baby Brown!
My in-loves gave me a book after Surgery called, “The Red Sea Rules” by Robert J Morgan and I finally started it yesterday. I’ve only made it to the 3rd chapter and I am already completely blown away! This book is amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone who may be having a difficult time.
Just in the Preface alone so many statements hit home. One part said, “No sea is deeper than the ocean of His love. There is no army stronger than His hosts, no force greater than His throne of grace, no enemy who can overcome His direct and indirect work in our lives. It went on to say the reality of the Red Sea, in a word, is this: God will always make a way for His tired, yet trusting, children, even if He must split the sea to do it.” Can I get an AMEN?! It totally hit home to me.
Thinking back on possible signs that God was giving me throughout my life is fascinating. When I was in 8th grade every time of the month I would end up having to leave school because I had horrible cramps and migraines. And then when I was a Junior/Senior in high school I had horrible stomach issues. I finally went to see a couple doctors. One doctor told me it was most likely IBS and another Doctor told me I had Celiac Disease. That caused a little bit of a panic attack. My mom and I went to Akin’s Natural Foods after that appointment and looked around at how life changing my diet was going to have to be and well a few tears were shed! I had basically decided even if I had Celiac disease I wasn’t going to be on a gluten free diet so that was the end of that! Then I went to the eye doctor trying to figure out why I kept getting the migraines. Of course, my vision is pretty much perfect so we didn’t get any answers there. Then, when we got married I gradually started to gain weight unexpectedly. I tried several ways to lose it and it seemed like if anything I would just keep gaining. It was so discouraging. So about 6 months ago I decided with everything going on with my menstrual period not being regular and the constant weight gain that I would have my thyroid checked. That test came back normal. That is when I just got that feeling, I knew then that something just wasn’t right. And then I remembered my mom had endometrosis. I honestly had never even considered or thought about the chance of me having it. It’s hard to know what you consider normal when you are used to feeling abnormal pain, if that makes sense. I’ve learned that my pain tolerance is very high. It’s weird to think you know your body when in fact you don’t actually have a clue what is going on. I just always pushed it off thinking I just have a weird stomach. And that it was my “normal.” If I could tell you all anything it’s to pay attention to your body. If you get that gut feeling don’t push it aside. There is a reason you felt it.
So with all that said my goal right now is just to stand firm and know that God is using this as a lesson for me to learn. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “You can trust God. He will not let you be tested more than you can stand. But when you are tested, He will also make a way out so that you can bear it.”
The Red Sea Rules said, “When you are in a difficult place, realize that the Lord either placed you there or allowed you to be there, for reasons perhaps known for only to himself. And the same God you lead you in will lead you out.” That scripture just solidifies the reason why I decided to share our story. It’s been so encouraging hearing all the stories of other woman who are going through the same or similar struggles. God didn’t intend for us to go through life alone so if I have to share an intimate part of my life to the world then I will!
Of course I had to include a song because who doesn’t love a little background music!
Hope you guys have a great long weekend!! And.. GO POKES 🙂